{"title":"COOKED TEES","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCooked Tees\u003c\/strong\u003e 💀\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWelcome to the naughty corner. This is where Dr.Moose gets a bit feral, the home of our rudest, most cooked, absolutely-cannot-be-unseen tees. If you've got a mate with a birthday coming up and a sense of humour with no off switch, you're in exactly the right spot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eEvery tee in here is built for one glorious purpose: the stitch-up. Whip one out at kick-ons, force it onto the birthday legend, and watch the slow-dawning horror cross their face as they read it. Photos get taken. Stories get made. Nobody recovers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFrom cheeky double meanings to puns so bad they're brilliant, these are the gag gifts that get talked about long after the party winds down. All printed on premium heavyweight black tees that are genuinely comfy and built to last, so your mate's got no excuse to take it off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFair warning: these aren't for the easily offended or the in-laws' Christmas card. But for the right legend? Absolute gold. Don't snooze on these ones yeah, the cooked ones sell out quick!\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"daddys-little-squirter-t-shirt","title":"Daddy's Little Squirter T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDaddy's Lil' Squirter Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e 🐋💦\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eLooking for a funny birthday t-shirt to absolutely cook your mate? Say no more. This rude novelty tee pairs a cutesy whale, a rainbow and some flowers with a caption that'll make their nan choke on her lamington.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis is peak kick-ons energy and the ultimate stitch-up gift. Force it onto the birthday legend at 11pm and watch them realise what it says halfway through the night. Photos will be taken. Regrets will be had. It's perfect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePrinted on a premium heavyweight black tee that's actually comfy, so they've got no excuse to take it off. The print pops like crazy and the fit's unisex, true to size, making it a cracking gag gift for blokes and gals alike.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe ultimate way to say \"happy birthday, you absolute menace.\" Don't snooze on this one yeah, the good piss-take gifts sell out before the weekend!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBig love, the Dr.Moose crew 💙\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dr.Moose ","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":44281018712163,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":44281018744931,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":44281018777699,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":44281018810467,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44281018843235,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":44281018876003,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":44281018908771,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":44281018941539,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1458\/9498\/files\/dr-moose-s-daddy-s-little-squirter-t-shirt-daddy-s-lil-squirter-funny-birthday-t-shirt-dr-moose-1245707946.png?v=1782200566"},{"product_id":"throat-goat-t-shirt","title":"Throat Goat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThroat GOAT Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e 🐐🌭\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eLooking for a funny rude t-shirt to stitch up your mate? Some tees are subtle. This is not one of them. A goat, a hot dog, and a caption that says exactly what you think it says. It's dumb, it's filthy, and it's absolutely going in someone's birthday gift bag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePrinted on a premium heavyweight black tee that's actually comfy, so they've got no excuse to take it off. The print pops like crazy and the fit's unisex, true to size, making it a cracking rude gift for blokes and gals alike.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe greatest of all time at being the worst. Don't snooze on this one yeah, the proper cooked ones always sell out quick!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dr.Moose","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":44281024020579,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":44281024053347,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":44281024086115,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":44281024118883,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44281024151651,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":44281024184419,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":44281024217187,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":44281024249955,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1458\/9498\/files\/dr-moose-t-shirt-s-throat-goat-t-shirt-throat-goat-funny-hot-dog-t-shirt-dr-moose-1245707941.png?v=1782200470"},{"product_id":"stink-star-t-shirt","title":"Stink Star T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStink Star Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e ⭐🌈\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eLooking for a properly cooked rude t-shirt to stitch up your mate? This is the one. A cheery retro sunshine cartoon, a rainbow, a magic wand and a caption so filthy it loops right back around to art. It's wrong. It's so wrong. You need it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePrinted on a premium black 100% cotton tee that's actually comfy, so they've got no excuse to take it off. The retro print pops like crazy and the fit's unisex, true to size, making it a cracking rude gift for blokes and gals alike.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSome legends count sheep. You count wrinkles. Don't snooze on this one yeah, the proper cooked ones always sell out quick!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dr.Moose","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":44281015795811,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":44281015828579,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":44281015861347,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":44281015894115,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44281015926883,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":44281015959651,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":44281015992419,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":44281016025187,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1458\/9498\/files\/dr-moose-t-shirt-s-stink-star-t-shirt-stink-star-funny-rude-t-shirt-dr-moose-1245712255.png?v=1782207791"},{"product_id":"throat-goat-t-shirt-copy","title":"Micro Penis Club President T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMicro Penis Club President Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e 🏆\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eLooking for a properly cooked rude t-shirt to stitch up your mate? No graphic, no muckin' about, just a bold statement said with the full confidence of a man who's accepted his role in life. President. Of the club. We salute him.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePrinted on a premium 100% cotton black tee that's actually comfy, so they've got no excuse to take it off. Crisp varsity print that pops against the black and the fit's unisex, true to size, making it a cracking rude gift for any legend who can take a joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eLead with confidence. Lead the club. Don't snooze on this one yeah, the proper cooked ones always sell out quick!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dr.Moose","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":44281024872547,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":44281024905315,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":44281024938083,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":44281024970851,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44281025003619,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":44281025036387,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":44281025069155,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":44281025101923,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1458\/9498\/files\/dr-moose-t-shirt-s-micro-penis-club-president-t-shirt-micro-penis-club-president-funny-tee-dr-moose-1245712254.png?v=1782207743"},{"product_id":"beggin-for-a-peggin-t-shirt","title":"Beggin' for a Peggin' T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eLooking for a properly cooked rude t-shirt to stitch up your mate? Set sail with this one. A swashbuckling pirate, a cheeky rhyme, and a punchline that takes a second to land before everyone groans. Yo ho ho indeed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePrinted on a premium 100% cotton black tee that's actually comfy, so they've got no excuse to take it off. The colours pop like crazy against the black and the fit's unisex, true to size, making it a cracking rude gift for blokes and gals alike.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eEvery legend needs a pirate on their chest with questionable demands. Don't snooze on this one yeah, the proper cooked ones always sell out quick!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dr.Moose","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":44281042501731,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":44281042534499,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":44281042567267,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":44281042600035,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44281042632803,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":44281042665571,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":44281042698339,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":44281042731107,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1458\/9498\/files\/dr-moose-t-shirt-s-beggin-for-a-peggin-t-shirt-beggin-for-a-peggin-funny-pirate-tee-dr-moose-1245712247.png?v=1782207672"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1458\/9498\/collections\/IMG_6972.jpg?v=1782195154","url":"https:\/\/drmoose.com.au\/collections\/cooked-tees.oembed","provider":"Dr.Moose ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}